“Be Careful”

We Want 90’s Summers, But Fear Our Neighbors

Summer break has officially begun, and I keep hearing parents say they are hoping for a “90’s summer” for their kids. The nostalgia runs deep, back to the days when my generation played outside all day, drank from the water hose, rode off on our bikes with neighbors and didn’t come home until dinner time. Compared to our current culture, where there is so much pressure for parents to “curate” a perfect summer for their kids, a 90’s summer childhood seems wonderfully wild and free.

The truth is, the world has changed a lot since the 90’s. Ironically, many cultural messages that romanticize past generations are paired with constant warnings of danger, strangers, and people who are different than us.

We are caught in the middle of a world that longs for “90s summers” while also teaching us to fear our actual neighbors.

We tell ourselves we’re protecting our children when we teach them to “be careful” around strangers, unfamiliar places, risk.

As a parent, I get it.

We also emphasize caution in healthcare, when attention to detail and discernment can literally mean life or death for our patients.

As a healthcare professional, I get it.

Sometimes having caution is wise.

But as I’m writing my book, Doses of Humanity, I keep coming back to this thought: how easily a lifetime narrative of “be careful” can quietly shape the way we move through the world. It can make us guarded instead of curious, suspicious instead of connected.

So much of our country’s current political climate is fear-based “othering” of people who don’t follow the “norms” established by people in power. This narrative shapes real policies that affect real people.

I don’t want my daughters to grow up naively believing everyone around them is a safe person. But I also don’t want fear to be the loudest voice guiding how they see other humans.

I want them to ask questions. To notice people. To be curious about the lived experiences of people who don’t look like them. To understand that meaningful connection begins when we move beyond assumptions and toward curiosity.

The world needs discernment. But it also desperately needs humanity. 🤍