Today is my middle baby’s birthday. And my birth day.

The one where I was exhausted from keeping up with the world’s most active 2 year old and didn’t know how I would possibly keep up with a newborn too, while working full time.

The one where in utero scans had shown cysts on this sweet baby’s brain, with unknown implications for her development.

The one where my water spontaneously broke and I went into labor on my actual due date… and the one where the on call doctor simply stood in the doorway until my midwife rushed into the room just as my baby girl was entering the world… (since I had refused to lay flat on my back while pushing this precious 9.5lb human out of my body, thankyouverymuch. But that’s another story for another time ; )

The one where the Lord assured my heart, “I know exactly what you need…” and the moment I held this beautiful dark-haired baby girl and looked into her steel blue eyes, my worries melted away.

Sometimes, we work so hard to justify, prepare, or strive to ensure we are “ready” for what life has in store for us. The truth is, we never can be fully ready.

I was never ready for the way my heart could expand and my capacity could increase each time our family has grown.

I was never ready for this second baby’s gentle and calm demeanor to be exactly what my heart needed after an incredibly intense season of full time work and navigating new motherhood…(and then to welcome a third baby only 19 months later, who would be so well loved and cared for by her 2 big sisters)

I was never ready to see the way that I would also gain new life after each of these births, growing more and more confident in who I am.

Sometimes, the things in life that we anticipate the most can also cause us the most anxiety or trepidation, even when they are good things. But letting go of the need to control everything *spoiler alert, we can’t!* makes room for us to receive the unexpected joy along the way. Some of life’s sweetest gifts are the ones we never predicted. Our minds simply are not capable of imagining the vast possibilities of beauty and joy that await us…

So today, I’m reminded that so many of the ways that I wasn’t able to fully comprehend the deep joy and redemption that awaited for the birth of this precious daughter… are exactly the ways that have brought so much ongoing fulfillment in my life with so many unknown situations.

In what area of your life do you need to let go of control and just let your next season, project, dream (or baby?!) birth new life for you too?

Cheers to this birthing day and the beauty that was born out of it,

Leigh

P.S. As for those brain cysts? They must have been bilingual-learning, soccer-goal scoring, social butterfly-predisposing cysts. There’s nothing holding this baby girl back anytime soon…

Peek Perspectives, PharmD

Birth Days