Comfort Zone, Or Complacent Zone?

The Peek Perspective on Trying New Things

I’m sitting here as my 9 year old daughter’s fingers glide carefully across the unfamiliar keys of the piano during her first ever lesson. She has been asking for a year to take lessons, and when a new neighbor casually mentioned she teaches piano, we slid right into a lesson slot only a month later.

The thrill and excitement of learning something new seems to come naturally to my kids. They jump headfirst into Spanish immersion, eagerly take up new sports, and constantly create new art. Initially, they defaulted to trying familiar sports, as their dad and I have been life long athletes. But along with sports came an interest in dance and music, both scenes which are not in my immediate wheelhouse of either parents’ experience (unless you count our family dance parties in the living room or blasting T.Swift albums in the car…)

The same 9 year old budding pianist also decided to join a large youth city choir this fall too, with no previous music experience. Suddenly, she’s talking about chords and notes and harmony like she’s been talking about it her whole life. Oh, how I long to inhabit the eagerness and thrill of a child who is learning a new thing…

I’ve noticed something that happens as we grow from childhood into adulthood, while setting and chasing and achieving our goals. We graduate with that degree, we land that job, we earn that income, and we settle into the things that we know well. We default to our comfort zone (even though it’s not perfect), and it can be hard to step out into a learning zone. We thrive on routine, success, and comfort. We mostly visit the same places, drive the same routes around town, hover in the same social circles, shop at the same stores, and stay in our own hobby “lane”. It’s not that we can’t change and try new things… it’s that we so often choose not to.

We like it right here, where things feel familiar and comfortable, thankyouverymuch.

Enter, children. They are the epitome of trying new things, seeking out new challenges, and learning to fail well. They live in a constant state of learning, trying, failing, and doing it all over again. There are very few things they have mastered in their young stage of life, so everything is new and challenging and exciting. From their very first baby steps, when they quite literally fall down and get up again (over and over and over), they have a delightful persistence about them.

At what point in life do we begin to lose that eager desire and drive to try new things? At what point do we quit regularly stepping out of our comfort zone and land in the place where we stick with only familiar things? When does our job become our identity, or our traditional role/hobby/routine become our safety blanket?

If I had the same grit and eager ability to try new things as my 3 young children, the possibilities would probably blow my mind. Instead, I tend to cautiously venture into new hobbies, routines, and challenges - having already weighed the risk against the odds I might be successful. More often than not, I default to the things I already know work for me, things that I’m good at, and things that feel natural to me.

There’s wisdom in doing what we know works well for us. But there’s also limitation to staying within that lane.

If I could channel even my college-aged self - who would join campus clubs where I knew no one else, go sky-diving on a whim, and take a hip-hop dance class “just for fun,” alongside my organic chemistry classes (oh, wait - apparently I did have a short “career” in dance!) … I would open a whole new world of possibilities.

This fall, I’ve been inspired by my own mom, who expressed some of the same tendencies I described above- that she was in a pattern of doing mostly the same routines. She has a thriving retirement life that includes a close relationship with her children, constant involvement with her grandchildren, and a longstanding marriage to her high school sweetheart. She is our family’s biggest cheerleader. But it occurred to her that her days mostly revolved around doing the things she already knew and loved.

So she decided to do something about it. She went and joined a rowing team. I’m not talking about a rowing machine in a local gym. I’m talking about a legit rowing club on a nearby river in a neighboring city. Did I mention she had zero experience with this sport?

She ended up being one of the more “mature” athletes on her team. She was learning a brand new thing right alongside other rowers and scullers who are decades younger than her (Mom, did I say all those boat words right?!) After the first week, she wasn’t so sure it was the right fit. It was all so new.

But she kept showing up, week after week after week. In the blazing heat and in the freezing cold. And now? She knows her way around a single scull or a quad boat like it’s a familiar hobby. She now speaks the lingo of a seasoned rowing athlete, terms that she now gets to explain to the rest of her family fan club. She glows when she talks about her rowing experiences. It has reminded her that learning something new is truly a thrilling adventure and brings new energy into life, at any stage … all because she dared to step out of her comfort zone. Even when she didn’t have to.

When is the last time you truly tried something new? Traveled to somewhere you’ve never been? Taken up a hobby you know nothing about? Intentionally positioned yourself in a place where you didn’t know anyone, with the intent to build a brand new relationship with someone? Maybe you’re already doing these things…or maybe it’s been years.

As my favorite Peloton fitness instructor Jess Sims said recently…

“You are a work in progress. And you are a masterpiece, just as you are. Don’t you dare try to choose between the two.” (paraphrased)

You are good enough, just as you are, right where you are. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. But you’re also a work in progress…and the progress could be great if you choose to step out and challenge yourself in a new way. What if you stepped out and did a brand new thing with the grit and excitement of a child, just because?

You just may end up sitting at a piano for the first time, joining a rowing team, or even just inviting that new neighbor over for the first time. You might fail. And it might lead to your next greatest passion.

Who knows where your next “new thing” will lead? I dare you to try.

I’m off to ponder my own question… stay tuned for what I decide to try next.

-Leigh

Disclaimer: I write this from the perspective of an Enneagram Type 1, recovering perfectionist, Type A pharmacist who appreciates adventure but is not quick to try new things. Basically, I am preaching to myself ; )