Kissing Tradition Goodbye
The Peek Perspective on the role of traditions
While packing for our recent move, a photo resurfaced that I had entirely forgotten about. “Mom, is that you?! And who are you kissing? And WHY?!” my daughters asked with gaping expressions, while holding up an old photo album.
There I was, in all my Homecoming Queen glory, lips locked with the Homecoming King on the 50 yard line of the football field during the halftime coronation, in front of our entire small town. The story the photo doesn’t tell is that the scoreboard clock was also running, an old tradition at our school, to see who could set the record for longest Homecoming kiss.
Is it odd that I never questioned this small town tradition?! This is starting to feel more like a wedding, “you may kiss your queen,” than a celebration of school spirit, am I right?! The guy on the other side of that kiss happened to be someone I had briefly dated before, so needless to say, it wasn’t our first kiss. (In fact, we were good friends at the time and joked about having already practiced for our big homecoming moment years before.) As teenagers, we were honored to be voted into this situation by our peers, and we simply did what we were told was the “tradition.”
A friend who was also on that Homecoming court recently reminded me that we got to go shopping for “day outfits” for the big day, followed by a formal photoshoot and a high school reception where we served refreshments and accepted gifts from our peers. It was “just the tradition,” in the name of school spirit…
As queen, I was also given the task to choose a song that the high school band would learn to play during our ceremony, and I selected decor and classic cars that were donated for our use during the big day.
(Also, for the record, my song choice was Elvis’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love”…
Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you
…Case in point - Great song, but maybe one you’d more likely hear at a wedding?! There was a lot riding on the music selection here, okay?! ; )
It was a much anticipated event that our entire town came together to celebrate, and the energy was palpable. Along with other traditions, like each high school class building an “outhouse” and working all week long to capture the competing classes’ outhouses that were hidden all over town (Outhouses, really?!? Yes, really…) it was all just “tradition… it’s just what we do.” In the midst of it all, we never questioned the rationale for so much of it. We just lived for the thrill of tradition.
A recent visit to my hometown during a celebration weekend brought these memories flooding back. It had been a decade since I had returned for our town’s big annual parade, and as I watched the homecoming royalty ride through the cheering crowd I wondered what traditions have continued on since my high school years. Were this year’s homecoming king and queen under the same expectations to beat my halftime kiss record?!
There is truly nothing like the hospitality and hometown spirit that a small town offers, and I’m always grateful…but I do have a lot of questions as an adult, now looking back at some of those traditions… 🤨
Is this “kiss” still a thing in high school Homecoming traditions in America? Was it ever a thing outside of my small town’s tradition? It has become a comical discussion in my household and among classmates at a recent reunion (and a tradition I can’t fully articulate to my kids… 🥴)
What other strange rituals have you been a part of, “in the name of tradition”?
On a deeper level, what traditions are you holding onto without understanding the “why” behind them? Do you go through the motions and follow “the way we’ve always done things around here” without questioning if there might be a better way?
Whether it’s your parenting “rules” handed down through generations, the culture in your workplace, or your straight party ticket voting habits, I think traditions are worth re-examining from time to time. Tradition can bond us in ways that are healthy and even build strong community, but traditions can also keep us stuck in a cycle that no longer makes sense in our lives.
Just some things I’m thinking about this week, after being prompted by the re-discovery of this photo, thanks to my daughters… ( as always, thanks to my kids for making me stop and think about life’s big questions).
That’s all for today’s edition of “Humbling Questions from your Homecoming Queen…”
- Leigh
Actual photo of the infamous kiss not included, to protect all parties involved (ha)… but if you’re a former school mate of mine, you’ll find it forever documented in our senior yearbook (as per the tradition from all the previous years’ Homecoming mouth to mouth moments). You’re welcome.