Small Town, Smaller World
The Peek Perspective on Feeling Seen and Known
Hello friends!
How are you holding up, in these crazy times, in this busy world? I’ve recently been reminded that despite our differences, we have far more in common that we often realize. So today, I’m sharing a bit of my small town heart and big world view, in my podcast, “Dispensing Joy”.
If you haven’t tuned in yet, this is a new project I’ve started that is focused on conversations with Moms in Healthcare. I’ve hosted some incredible guests so far during interview episodes, and then every other week I share a more personal perspective on life in a short and sweet episode.
Click below to listen to this episode, which relates to everyone - not just moms in healthcare…or keep scrolling if you prefer to read the recap below…
Episode 12: Feeling Seen and Known
Everyone wants to feel seen, known, and understood. It’s at the core of who we are as humans. Our patients, our families, our colleagues, and our neighbors all have that same desire, especially in today’s politically charged and seemingly divided world.
They say that all roads lead to Perry, OK.
Well, maybe “they” don’t say that, but my husband, who is not from Perry, does. Because he honestly cannot believe that for a town the size of it, we run into people literally anywhere in the world who have a connection to my little hometown.
We’ve been traveling through Greece, or living in North Carolina, or visiting a new church in another town, or on medical rounds in the hospital, or in the middle of an intramural softball game, or at a college football game, when I will inevitably meet someone who is connected to Perry.
This may not be significant if I were from somewhere like Dallas, or even Oklahoma City. But Perry?!
For those not from around here, Perry is a quintessential small town in Oklahoma. It’s where I was born and raised and lived until the day I moved away to college. With a bustling little population of 5,000 (which may honestly be a stretch, but who am I to question Wikipedia?!) it is truly the kind of place where everyone knows everyone (and everything about everyone, too)…
I haven’t lived there since I was 18, but what they say about small towns is true. You can take the girl out of a small town, but you can’t take the small town out of the girl. And apparently, other people from small towns tend to feel the same way.
So, while playing first base this summer in the middle of our softball game, I happened to recognize the last name of the guy on the opposing team, who was the base runner on 1st. It’s a name I’ve only heard in my hometown, though I didn’t immediately recognize his face. He was stunned when I whispered that he must be from Perry, and that his former middle school teacher (my mom) was sitting right there in the bleachers. As I started chatting him up between plays (I’m a very social athlete, ok?!) our pitcher stopped and turned and yelled, “Wait…Don’t tell me, he’s from Perry?!” (Oh, the pitcher is my husband. And he knows these things, even in the middle of a game.)
And years ago, when my husband needed to move to D.C. for a residency rotation? “Oh, I have friends there who say you can live with them! From Perry.”
And a text I get from a friend, asking if I know the keynote speaker at her hospital’s main event? Oh, of course, he’s from Perry!
I have been in middle of patient care rounds in the pediatric bone marrow transplant unit when my young patient mentions he is a WWE fan. “Oh, who’s your favorite wrestler?!” I asked. And when he told me, and I said he was my favorite too, my entire medical team froze in confusion as they stared at me. Back in the team room, my colleagues admitted they’d never pegged me as the WWE fan type. “Oh, but that WWE wrestler our patient likes?! He’s an old friend of mine…from Perry.” I was able to get my sweet patient a signed poster by his favorite wrestler and I’m pretty sure I easily became his favorite pharmacist forever.
The stories I could tell go on and on about what a truly small world it is. But why do my friends from Dallas not get so excited when they meet another person from Dallas? Or Oklahoma City? Or any other number of larger towns and cities?
Maybe it’s the smaller odds that small towns hold in the world. There simply aren’t as many of us. So when we find each other, there’s a special sense of connection, of pride, of belonging.
I think maybe the same is true on a larger scale, too. At the end of the day, people want to feel connected. And when we find someone else who shares a common connection, we feel seen and known.
The U.S. Surgeon General has issued a warning about the epidemic of loneliness in our country. People may be more connected through technology than ever before, but people are also more isolated relationally.
You probably pass by people from your hometown regularly. But if you came from a town or city where you didn’t know everyone, you’d never know that the people around you may be from there too.
Maybe it’s not your hometown that’s small, but maybe you work in a profession that feels like a small world. Maybe everywhere you go, you meet people who are connected to someone in your profession.
Ever heard of the 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon? It’s an assumption that nearly anyone related to the Hollywood film world can be linked within 6 steps of their previous film roles to Kevin Bacon. It’s a play off a larger theory that anyone on earth can be linked by 6 or less acquaintances. Is this a fun conspiracy, or is there truth to it? Either way, in a world where people can feel isolated, it’s refreshing to consider that we are all closely connected in one way or another…
So how do we address the neighbor with a political yard sign that differs from our own views? What about the family member who doesn’t align with our personal values? Instead of focusing on our differences (of which there are certainly many)… what if we focused on the things we do have in common?
Like a person from a small town who delights in an uncommon encounter with another small town connection… we feel anchored by the smallest similarities that we share.
Like a patient who shares an uncommon connection with his healthcare provider… we feel more at ease in a tense situation, when we connect over our similarities instead of our differences.
Like a lonely neighbor who feels unseen by society…we crave connection with other people and yet feel alienated by the lack of their acknowledgment.
Let’s be the people who see each other and build bridges, not people who cause more division.
Love,
A small town girl with a big world view
P.S. And if you walk around in a t-shirt with a purposely divisive statement… well I’ll just assume you are in deep need of human connection ; ) …. tune into the podcast for the rest of that story!